Puberty Talk with Boys


Talking to children about puberty is difficult and uncomfortable for many parents.  I have some tips for you to help you out with this important experience.

1-Start the conversations early. If you explain early on the changes he will experience, the puberty process will be much easier on everyone.

Be honest and serious. Children appreciate it.

Do not laugh or make fun of him in any way. As soon as you show disrespect for his feelings, he will lose trust in you and try to find his way in life without your help.

2-Find good books or websites that provide him with the proper information. Because otherwise he’s going to end up on the types of sites that you don’t want him learning from.

3-Let him know that physical changes are coming, and that his body is going through transformations that will lead him into being a man.  

Boys should know the following about  their puberty:

  • They will get pubic hair and underarm hair, and their body hair becomes thicker and darker.
  • They get acne and start to sweat more.
  • They also will smell differently and that’s why it’s necessary to mention the importance of daily showering and changing their clothes. Please spend sometime explaining to your child how to clean his private parts propeprly.
  • They have a growth spurt.
  • Their penises and testicles grow larger.
  • Their voices change and become deeper.
  • They grow facial hair and their muscles get bigger.
  • They sometimes have wet dreams, which means they ejaculate in their sleep.
  • Also let them know that girls at school are going to change too, and become young women.  
  • With boys, the focus can be on the penis. Since not all boys develop at the same time or rate, your son may feel like he is too big or too small. Make sure he undertands that every penis size is normal.
  • Some boys experience temporary breast growth during puberty. This is caused by changing hormone levels during puberty. It usually disappears within months.
  • *Let your son know that everyone goes through puberty at a different age and at a different rate, and that he should not compare his body to enyone else’s. On average, boys begin going through puberty a little later than girls, usually around age 10 or 11. But they may begin to develop sexually or have their first ejaculation without looking older.

4-Talk about Aggression and Respect

Mood and hormonal changes are part of growing up and everyone goes through it.

Parents should take the time to explain to their sons that puberty leads to more testosterone which will make your son more muscular and more aggressive. At this phase, boys need to clearly understand that with their new strength comes a responsibility to be respectful especially towards women- especially their moms.

5-Prepare your son for his sexual life. Tell him about sexuality, STIs, and how preganncy happens. Stress on the fact of respecting girls’ bodies and feelings. The masturbation talk should be done by the father or an uncle. Do not say negative things about the practice itself, because any feeling of shame you give him around his sexuality will be haunting him for the rest of his life. Only give him scientific information and make sure that he keeps his free time busy with a sport.

Always remember to be patient with your child’s awkward motor skills. His new body dimentions are new to him and he needs time to refine his coordination. If he drops a plate or a glass, it’s totally normal for this phase.

Let your child know that you’re available any time to talk- but it’s also important to initiate conversations. If you’re not entirely comfortable having a conversation about puberty, practice what you want to say first. Let your child know that it may be a little uncomfortable to discuss, but it’s an important talk to have. In order to avoid the eye-to-eye feelings, you can use the time when you’re alone in the car, and you tell him some information while you are focussing on the road. And of course you can always pay a visit to a pediatrician to help you out with this task.